


and leave this fucked up place behind

by thicc_succ_for_a_bucc



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2.20, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Despair, Destiel Becoming Canon On 5 November 2020 (Supernatural), Episode: s02e20 What Is and What Should Never Be, Gen, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Codependency, Unhappy Ending, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27793513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thicc_succ_for_a_bucc/pseuds/thicc_succ_for_a_bucc
Summary: Dean says yes to the Djinn.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester - Relationship
Kudos: 5





	and leave this fucked up place behind

**Author's Note:**

> so some things have happened.
> 
> title from Christmas Kids by Roar (because i'm unoriginal)

“Dean, you don’t have to fight anymore. You can just rest now.” His mom was smiling lovingly at him, her eyes signalling to him he could, in fact, be alright now. 

Sam and Jessica were off to the side, holding each other. Gazing at the fake Sam, he was remembering the real Sammy in the world out there, probably worried sick about him.

Dean closed his eyes in a moment of weakness, tears springing from the side of his eyes before he was fast enough to stop them. If he wanted to stop them. There was no one here, after all. He didn’t have to keep pretending. 

“What about Sammy?” Dean asked, voice breaking.

“Your brother knows how much you love him. How much you’ve sacrificed to keep him happy, keep him fed. Keep him safe. From  _ everything _ . ” Dean flinched slightly, remembering a strong grip and John’s barking voice. “You can let go now.”

An image of little Sammy growing up popped in his head. He was just so  _ tired _ . The world was on his shoulders, and he couldn't bear the weight anymore. John survived in hell without breaking, but he couldn’t stay alive to see his kid brother was safe. How pathetic must he be? 

Again? Because he knew. Somehow he knew how it all ended, years down the line. In a room with the angel Castiel, the bunker. The Empty. Hearing, “I love you,” for the first and last time. Knowing it was all for nothing. 

And he couldn’t bear it all over again. After all, since when did we get what we think we’re deserved? Least of all loathing, fucked up, messes like Dean.

“I’ll stay.”

Maybe if he actually died here, the world wouldn’t get so screwy and everyone else would probably be better off for it. 

He’s given enough of himself. Sam could just deal this time.   


**Author's Note:**

> i hope this was readable and god bless. leave a comment telling me how insane i am please.


End file.
